Toddler mom recalls all her fears as a new mom (plus the ones she’s added)

Happy Thursday friends! It’s time for The True Tales from the Pink & Blue Trenches, a weekly series co-hosted by Melissa from Home on Deranged. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and at least in the Midwest we are in the midst of the polar plunge! As I write this, today’s high is a mere 12 degrees. BRRR…. We typically choose our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, so I hope the weather warms a little!

Since I am babysitting a VERY curious 9 month old boy until the first of the year, I am pretty nervous about the tree. I may only decorate the top of the tree and surround the bottom with a foam fence.

I know I had the same fears with each of my own children just a short time ago, and that got me reminiscing about other, bigger fears I had with them and how I felt about those same situations, now that they are now toddler and preschooler age.

In no order of priority, MY BIGGEST new baby parenting fears were probably: Sleeping, medicines and choking.

Parenting fears #1: Sleeping

You already know all the about the big sleep related fears a new infant brings. I swaddled Hayden til he was over 6 months old. Folks are very divided on swaddling and how long you should do it. Honestly, I probably should have weaned him much sooner. I am not sure he even wanted to be swaddled that long and I may have unintentionally delayed some of his bedtime mobility. I kept him in his crib to discourage a co-sleeping habit. I also was adamant on using a pacifier. Which I am still glad I did, but since he couldn’t move and was a pacifier addict, guess who got to retrieve the fallen pacifier? Yep, mom and dad. All night long. He was my first baby, and the monitor was turned up so loud, we could hear every precious breath. I was mama nighthawk.

Henry, I tried to breastfeed for about 6 weeks and we pretty much co-slept or he was kept very close by. My preference on co-sleeping had not changed. I had just entered survival sleep mode. Henry also used a pacifier, but he was definitely beyond irritated by swaddling. Once I moved him into the crib, I dressed him warmly (of course, not TOO warm) and kept his crib free of bumpers, toys and blankets. I had eased up on the monitor, mostly because I could hear him. The neighbors could hear him.

Sleeping – preschool age Hayden: We had no problems weaning the pacifier at 13 months and moving to a toddler bed at 18 months. However around his brother’s arrival, he began to sleep on the sofa outside my room. I fear he will never sleep through the night solidly. Two years later he still wakes and moves on to the sofa.

Sleeping- toddler age Henry: Henry did not sleep through the night until 9 months old. He consumed full bottles through the night. Oh it was rough. Since his brother was usually on the sofa, I would just sleep in his bed (they share a room, or are supposed to). The pacifier was gone at 13 months, without event. We transitioned to toddler bed at around 2 years for his own safety, and I was so scared of his curious nature being a problem. Knock on wood, once asleep, he stays asleep. Whew! However, he will not allow a blanket or pillow to even touch him. With nights growing colder, baby being cold plagues my thoughts.

So for now my parenting fears concerning sleep are far less extreme than that of infancy. I suspect in the future, having two teenage boys might bring a different set of sleep related fears for mom. Apparently, we just won’t sleep again in this house.

Parental fear #2- Medicines

Parenting fears: Infant: Clear difference here with my children’s age and my experience. With both boys, under the age of two years, I would see or speak with a doctor before I gave them anything besides infant Tylenol.

There were nights when I slept upright, on the sofa, holding Hayden so he had better respiratory flow. I was nervous to use humidifiers (fire) and vapors (not sure why).

On a rare occasion, our pediatrician may have directed us to use a medicine. However he always gave me the dosing instructions. I would re-read instruction eight times before administering. I was absolutely paranoid to give medicine to my sons. Especially, when Henry required a small dose children’s Benadryl. I was paranoid bordering on temporarily insane with worry.

Vaccines should/could be a separate post, but we opted to provide all vaccines. Except optional or seasonal vaccines for Henry. The flu vaccine contains eggs and it is an allergy concern.

Parenting fears: Toddler: Henry would have a child-proof cap figured out in seconds. So the opportunity to worry still exists, but I feel okay providing medicines for occasional general pain. Yet I still read dosage information with a care level most would reserve for high alert situations. Even though I am confident I have them all memorized.

Parenting fears – Preschool: I trust Hayden to let me know if he feels ill, and I know he would ask for help.

Parental fear #3 Choking

Again, I improved with experience. I was so uptight with my first child, I should have just chewed his food for him. No, not really… but close. His transition to table food was awful, but some of it is suspected to be sensory issue related. I am confident my preschooler is able to chew any bits that might accidentally make their way in his mouth.

Henry entered toddler years stealing food from his brother. I don’t so much worry about choking as I do allergies with him. He is apt, able and confident connoisseur of food.

Of course, I recommend all parenting classes and following all updates concerning CPR, first aid… However I believe I have relaxed some from those early parenting days!

Of course these are some of the bigger parenting fears you might encounter when a little one enters your life, especially the first child. The level at which you worry probably depends on how much you read the news and internet. Or like myself, live with general anxiety.

Sometimes these fears temporarily resurface; as you chase a curious, crawling 9 month old and get ready to put up your tree. However I am now prepared and ready to focus on smaller everyday worries….like if Henry will flush something down my toilet or will the UPS guy ring the doorbell during naptime. Maybe it is experience, or maybe it is a brief reprieve until the teen years.

Share some of your new parent experiences or memories with us in the comments section! We love to hear from you!